My Mistakes
by Crab Apple Fairy
Summary: OoT, MM Zelda has made her decision. Too late, she comes to regret it. There are some things that can never be taken back, and some wounds that run too deep to heal.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all Legend of Zelda related, not even the games. My brother owns those. Nintendo owns all things Zelda, I think.**

**A/N: This is a response to an LJ ficlet challenge. It is a Zelda perspective from OoT and MM.**

**_Then _****refers to the alternate timeline where Zelda sends Link back to his childhood.**

**_Now _****refers to the Majora's Mask timeline, where the two are children.**

**Further Disclaimer: All spoken dialogue is taken directly from Majora's Mask. All italicized text is dialogue taken directly from Ocarina of Time.**

_my mistakes_

"You are already leaving this land of Hyrule, aren't you?" I stared into the Field, not really seeing anything. The deep red roses were nothing but crimson smudges in my vision. Everything was getting blurry.

I willed myself not to cry. That would not solve anything, and I had known for a long time that this was going to happen.

Still.

I wanted...

_Home..._

_...Where you are supposed to be..._

_...The way you are supposed to be..._

I was not sure what I wanted.

_Then _I had wanted him to regain his lost innocence, to be what he could have been before I had destroyed Hyrule. Before he met me, before I made my colossal blunder. I had wanted to make amends. I had wanted to fix things. I was the Princess of Hyrule, and that was my duty. Not his. Never his. He paid for MY misjudgment. My foolishness.

I had eventually learned and become Wisdom, but it had come at the price of everything he and I held dear. _Then_ I had been Wisdom, and I had seen the folly of my hubris.

_All the tragedy that has befallen Hyrule was my doing._

_I was so young... I could not comprehend the consequences of trying to control the Sacred Realm._

_I dragged you into it, too._

_Now it is time for me to make up for my mistakes..._

_Then _I had been determined to fix everything. And so I had sent him back, back before I made the terrible mistake that would haunt Hyrule for centuries. I had sent him back to his innocence. _Then _I had hoped that he would not remember his quest, his pain, his torment.

But _Now_ I did not know what I wanted. No, I did know what I wanted. I wanted him to be with me, to remember our shared past/future.

He had not forgotten the cataclysmic events that had happened because of me. He had known me after I sent him back to his childhood. He had sought me out as I stood at the window that day. And he had stared at me with haunted blue eyes and had not said a word.

I had not known what to say either, and so we had stared at each other for a long time. I had forced a shaky smile after an eternity _my mistakes_ and said, "Hello, Link."

And through some cruel whim of the Three Goddesses, I had become his best friend.

But I had also become Wisdom _Then_, and Wisdom I still was. Somehow, I knew that as long as I was there, he would not forget our other lives, and his eyes would never be a clear, laughing crystal blue.

But anyway, _Now_ it was not about what I wanted. It did not matter what I wanted, I could also now sense.

I squeezed my eyes shut once to blink the threatening tears away. This, then, was my punishment for unleashing Ganon on Hyrule. A punishment straight from Din, Nayru, and Farore, I knew. There was no doubt of it. Link would leave Hyrule, and my face would fade into the dark recesses of his mind by the power of the Holy Trinity. He would get peace when he had forgotten me. He would get peace, and I would suffer the torment of missing my best friend _my mistakes_ for the rest of my life.

Taking a deep breath, I brought myself back to reality. It was Time. Time to let him go. Time for my penance to begin.

I whirled to face him, skirt rustling over the lush green grass. I clasped my hands together and attempted a watery smile. He gave me a tremulous smile in return, but continued to shift from foot to foot in front of Epona. He nodded once, slowly, and I let out the breath I had been holding.

He was leaving Hyrule. Leaving _me_.

Deep breaths, Zelda. "Even though it was only a short time, I feel like I've known you forever. I'll never forget the days we spent together in Hyrule..." I tried not to wince as I said this, pretending that I was only a little girl wishing her childhood friend farewell. But I _would_ not forget him, nor the days of the War in that alter timeline, nor Ganondorf.

He winced a little too. I could sense through the Triforce that he would rather forget _my mistakes _the days we spent together in that other life.

I knew that he would forget me. He would forget the Temples, the Sages, and of course the seven years of his life that he spent sleeping. As soon as my face faded from his mind's eye, he would have no reason to remember the rest. Why would he want to? That far away life was tinged with fear, pain, sadness, and regret.

I tried to force my smile a little wider as I continued. "...And I believe in my heart that a day will come when I shall meet you again." I was outright lying to him now. Maybe he already knew that. I twitched the hem of my dress. I knew that he would not come back. The Goddesses would see to it. _my mistakes._

I swiped a tear from my eye. Something in me could not just submit peaceably to the Goddess' whims. No matter what they wanted, what peace Link could get from forgetting me, I could not seem to let him go. I was Wisdom, but perhaps I had learned nothing. Perhaps I was still a foolish, selfish little princess unwilling to let go of the one person that understood my pain, my shame.

Making my decision, I reached into my dress pocket. "Until that day comes, please.. take this..." I lifted out the Ocarina, misty blue shadows swirling like the River Flow of Time across the surface. It tingled in my hands. I caressed it absently, feeling the smooth contours of the neck, the finger holes, the mouthpiece.

I knew that he knew what it was. How could he not remember one of the Keys to the Sacred Realm?

But soon he would not remember what it was, and the sacred instrument would be lost to the Royal Family of Hyrule forever. Just as he would be lost to me forever. A fitting punishment for our prideful family, I thought.

Hold on Zelda. Soon he will be gone. Then it will not hurt so much. I was such a liar. Now I was even lying to myself, as well as to Link.

"I am praying... I am praying that your journey be a safe one..." I struggled not to sob. I did not want him to forget me anymore!

But _Now _it was not about me. It was about him. And I wanted to help him when he left, and give him a memento of our soon-to-be forgotten friendship. "If something should happen to you, remember this song. This reminds me of us."

And I played the Song of Time for him. One last Time. And I handed him the Ocarina, and I stood still, watching, as he mounted Epona and rode away.

And I never saw him again.

But I will never forget.

And I like to believe that maybe somewhere, wherever Link is, maybe he remembers the Song, and maybe he remembers me, just a little.

But deep down, I know that he does not remember me, and he does not remember _my mistakes._

**A/N2: There is an upcoming prequel to this ficlet.**

**Please review!**


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